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GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE

SEPTEMBER 15, 1995

OBITUARIES

My doctor, my friend: Farewell to John Carey

Friends and patients of Dr. John Carey sent the Chronicle many remembrances of him

A scared, alone, HIV-positive woman in 1988, I met Dr. John Carey. He explained the difference between HIV-positive and AIDS, as only his gentle ways would carry me through these numerous years of learning to 'live' with this hazardous AIDS virus.

Touching,compassionate, even-tempered, I watched this world renowned doctor help people from all phases of society. With daily multiple losses in this era of the global AIDS epidemic, his mission and drive mixed with a stupendous gentleness touched thousands of Clevelanders. Always current, professional, ready to listen. This tragic accident is difficult to spiritually understand. I would rather it was myself. If anything (like the boat or alcohol) takes away from the greatness of this man, it will anger many of us. We need to grieve.

I must take this our of what has happened to the loss of such an unselfish, devoted, empowered doctor:

So blessed am I as to have has Dr. John Carey in my life for 7 years. An astonishing length of time --time to heal--to live as fully as possible. Now joined with many of the spirits he so gracefully helped die; it would be unkind of me to react selfishly.

Thank you, John, for making me feel human after a diagnosis that makes many suicidal. Thank you for working around my requests for medications, breaking protocol for women, for always listing to my silly hysterics, that as I look back, now seem so little, so silly--but you never made me feel that way.

For being on a lot of boards of directors, being patient with the slowness of bureaucracy, constantly giving so much back to the community.

Irreplaceable, unforgettable, Dr. Carey's strive to find a cure and treatment for HIV/ AIDS will be continued, inspiring many to carry on. John would want us all to pull together continue and help each other. He would also want all of his patients to work cooperatively with their newly assigned medical practitioners.

Every time I see a spectacular tic, I will think of Dr. John Carey.

Psalm 147: "He heals the broken in hearts, and binds up their wounds."

To Russell:

Thank you for sharing so much with us during this time. Your stories, healing touch (just like John's), opening your heart and home, leaves me with a very spirituality. Seeing your home allows me to see how Dr. Carey was refreshed cach day. The flowers, homeyness, puppies, garden and entire atmosphere lets me be aware how wonderfully you treated John. Thank you for allowing me, with your blessing, to use John's name, as I continue this education.

During this time, I see that you and John were soul mates. I can see how John could love you so much.

My constant prayers and love. Thank you for sharing.

Sharon Thomas

I started working with J.C. (the name I gave Dr. Carey when I was officially hired) in January of this year as a temporary. At that time, J.C. was in desperate need of a “good” administrative assistant, and he decided after working with me for three months, I was the

onc.

In this short period of time J.C. and I built a working relationship that we both were proud of...how do I know this? He told me so; therefore, that made it even easier to come to work and be here for him because I knew he appreciated me. J.C. was very humorous, compassionate, and just a super guy to work with. The only regret I have is that seven and a half months of working with him was not nearly long enough... and I will truly, truly miss him.

He was a very caring physician, and his patients adored him. They were always sending cards expressing their appreciation of his care. He received numerous “thank you's on a monthly basis. He was highly respected by his patients and their families.

And we will always miss him.

Wanda J. Scott Administrative assistant to Dr. Carey

"There are stars whose radiance is visible on earth

though they have long been extinct. There are people whose brilliance continues to light the world

though they are no longer among the living. These lights are particularly bright when the night is dark.

They light the way for human kind.”

-Hannah Senesh May John Carey's light shine with us forever!

Sr. Marian Durkin Friends from The Open House

When I received a call from my friend Saturday am, I was half asleep hearing about Dr. Carey. I could not believe this-I thought: What a complete tragedy and loss to the community and to his patients he would be, because he was an excellent Doctor.

I was comfortable with him.

I would like to offer my condolences to his lover, family and friends.

Cinque

If we let ourselves cry, scream, and storm about (without physically hurting ourselves

Jane Miller, LSW

of D.L. Dunkle and Associates

is now expanding her practice

to include office space in Oberlin

in addition to Cleveland.

(216)229-2100

Sharon Thomas with John Carey, World AIDS Day 1994

or anyone else), we open up the paths for our pain to move.

Does it take a crisis to shock us into action? Too often we wait for an emergency situation to change our patterns of behavior. We do have it in our power to take back our behavior, our spirituality, our healing, nutrition, and other that Dr. Carey would be wanting us to help ourselves!

Don't wait-Take action now. Talk about HIV/AIDS--educate someone every day, it's a great healer.

Anonymous

How do you thank someone for being an integral part of your life? For being there when you needed assurance and comforting you -for holding your hand and smiling, saying "everything will be alright,”

I first met Dr. Carey in the spring of 1991 when I became a patient of University Hospital SIU Unit. I was a patient of Dr. Robert Kalayjin. I would often see Dr. Carcy on my office visits and he was also a front runner in AIDS research. Seen on the local news. I was diagnosed with cancer, spring 1993, and scheduled for surgery----I developed an abscess, so my condition worsened. My regular doctor was on vacation, so Dr. Carey became my primary physician and orchestrated his magic.

During my hospital confinement Dr. Carey would come and see me daily, sometime 2 or 3 times explaining my condition in terms and language that I could understand and reassure me all would be fine. On some days when the prognosis was not so good, he would jokingly mention my nose turning red, which it always did when I was afraid and tearful. He would call me “Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer" and we both would laugh; next would come the big crocodile tears. He would say "not to worry, this is something we can fix, just hang in there.”

While I did recover, thanks to Dr. Carey and so many staff members at University Hospital, I will never forget that loving, handsome, red-headed doctor with that million dollar smile. He touched my life in a special way. I feel blessed having known him as a Doctor and friend.

So, how do you say thanks to this special friend

I say: "Thanks to you. God, for Dr. Carey, May he rest in peace” I will never forget you.

Patient and friend, Joyce Smith Ezell

Things I Never Said: Why?

You're great!

I really do trust you with my health care. Sorry about my fit

How are you so calm??

Great tie!

More tests??

Okay--I'll cooperate more You always found time for me Stop joking about my underwear Thanks for doing the best you can Hove you!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Never thinking, never dreaming something like this could ever happen truly makes me realize each and every moment is a blessing and should be lived to its fullest.

Don't waste fime, our most valuable gift!

The most spectacular physician to ever pass through my life.

Black nights are followed by bright days. The experiences of sunset are followed by a glorious sunrise. There is life after loss, “goodness and mercy,” in ways unexpected. John, Dr. Carey, would want us to see the sunrises.

Dr. Carey helped me through this political maze of health care.

Just t

In 15 years, John pronounced hundreds of people dead, but he helped thousands of us live!

Dr. Carey carried patients, families friends and ministries though these difficult years

John, you are truly the light of the Ford

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